the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
