I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
