I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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