If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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