He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
