I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
