you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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