you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
