I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
