I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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