i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize