Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
