He uses pillows to masturbate.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
