Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
