you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
