I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
we're making bets on your personal life
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
