You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
