I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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