I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
