Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
