Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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