i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize