I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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