She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
