i wish semen tasted like chocolate
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
