Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
