I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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