$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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