how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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