Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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