thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize