So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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