I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
