I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
