At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
