but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
