Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My vagina is very pro this idea
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
