My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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