then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
