I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
