Soap is not a condiment
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
