He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize