I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
it hurts more in the daytime
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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