THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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