He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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