What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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