Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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