Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
