You're so nebulous sometimes
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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