it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
