my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
