Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
NoShamevember. You game?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
