you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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