i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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