I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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