There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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