Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
So squirting runs in the family.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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