Welp...herpes.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
