Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
