weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
