True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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